


C is for Cactus

by star_named_andy



Series: Alphabet of Love [3]
Category: The Hobbit (1977), The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Barduil - Freeform, Cuties, Fantasy, Fluff, M/M, littlekid!Barduil, sassy thranduil, thranduil loves plants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 06:54:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3927106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/star_named_andy/pseuds/star_named_andy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The weird kid that lives on the farm down the road turns out to be the good kind of weird and Thranduil experiences something he's never felt in all of his five years of life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	C is for Cactus

**Author's Note:**

> Have some more cute five year old Bard and Thranduil! :D  
> (Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, or any of its characters or content.)

The curtains of the music room’s tall windows were unsheathed, letting an obnoxious amount of light into the room; just another thing for Thranduil to be annoyed about.

Thranduil wiggled his bum on the leather piano bench with his fingertips just grazing the ends of a few of the white keys. A groan rumbled in his throat as he stared at the sheet music propped up in front of him. Reading music was hard and that aggravated him. He tentatively pressed down on one key, a high tone resonating from within the grand piano as he did so. He looked intensely at the notes on the sheet as his hands wandered to find what he thought was the right key. By the pleasant sound the piano emitted as he pressed key after key and the fact that his teacher wasn’t stopping him to correct him, he thought he must have been getting them right, until he hit one key and an ugly sound made him cringe.

He slammed his hands down on the keys, a chorus of cacophonous noise rising from the piano through his grunting. He grabbed the sheet music, his fingers just itching to rip up the stupid paper.

“Try again,” his teacher spoke from behind. “Just a few more minutes, now. You know the notes, I know you do. Just be patient.”

With a simmering sigh, Thranduil placed the intact sheet back where it belonged. Even if he had only a few more minutes of lesson left, he hated every second of being forced to sit for an hour every day to slam keys on an instrument, especially when he never got any better.

“Straighten the back and bend the wrists, remember.” His teacher said and Thranduil rolled his eyes as he did so.

He started from the beginning of the first measure and hastily clunked through the notes. In doing so, he quickly fumbled and bumped keys he didn’t mean to. Wrong, wrong, _wrong!_ He let out a frustrated yell and crashed his hands on the keys repetitively.

“ARGH, I HATE THE PIANO!” he shouted before banging his head on the keys in defeat.

“Thranduil!” his mother’s voice whipped and Thranduil picked his head up languidly, as if it were too heavy to support on his neck.

His eyes shone with indifference to her authority as his gaze floated over to her and then he frowned upon seeing who was with her and remembering: oh yeah, a _playdate_ with the weird kid from down the road which he didn’t agree to. How fun.

His teacher quickly disappeared from the room now that Miluiel had come to take Thranduil form his lesson which pleased Thranduil greatly, a little smirk flickering across his expression. Hopefully she’d never come back.

“Perhaps I should send Bard home if you’re going to have a fit.” Miluiel said and Thranduil snorted.

“Go ahea-”

“He was looking very forward to spending time with you.” She said to cut him off from whatever rudeness was about to come pouring out of his mouth.

Thranduil hopped from his bench and walked briskly with his chin high to the doorway where his mother and Bard stood. Miluiel pat Bard on the back.

“You two have fun and stay out of trouble. I’m heading off now,” she bent and kissed her son’s head before looking back at Bard. “If you need any snacks or something to drink, Thranduil knows to go to the kitchen and ask one of the helpers. You can have whatever you like.” Her green dagger-like eyes meant business as they pinned to Thranduil. “Thranduil, _be nice_.”

His tan, freckled face was fixed with a blank expression that made Thranduil arch an eyebrow; why was he always looking at him funny? Bard wore a yellow t-shirt, brown shorts, and brown and black sneakers with the laces tied in double knots. Even so, he was a scruffy looking boy with the way his dark curls were all over the place. The worst thing about him had to be the fact that he was a cute kid. Thranduil despised how awkward he felt he looked with his big ears and his bright hair that made people notice him. Bard was a nice looking little boy and Thranduil was jealous. Why did such a crazy person get blessed with suck good looks?

“Did your _ma_ tie your shoes for you?” Thranduil mocked and Bard shuffled his feet.

“Um…no, _I_ tied them. It takes me a couple tries sometimes, but I can do it all on my own now. I just learned. Can you tie your shoes?”

“Of course I can. How come you can’t talk right?” Thranduil asked as he put his hands on his hips and Bard’s hazel eyes swelled in alarm.

“What do you mean? I talk normal.”

“Then why can’t you say mom and dad? You call them _ma_ and _da_ and it sounds silly.”

“I can say mom and dad, but I’ve just always called them ma and da…so you can play piano?”

“Kinda.” Thranduil shrugged and walked out of the music room, happy to finally be able to leave it. Bard followed him, speeding up so they walked side by side.

“Where are we going?” he questioned.

“To the play room, I guess.” Thranduil replied with annoyance threading his tone. He wanted Bard to know how much he resented this set up meeting.

 

Thankfully Bard was quiet on the way to the playroom. He seemed like a shy boy and that could work to Thranduil’s advantage. He could very easily boss him around if he wanted, he bet, meaning he could tell Bard to play with any of his toys as long as he left him alone. Bard would probably listen and then Thranduil could do whatever he wanted. Yep, that’s _exactly_ what he was going to do.

Thranduil opened up the doors to his play room and walked in ahead of Bard. Bard stalled behind him, taking off his backpack and laying it on the floor as his eyes roved around the large room filled with toys of every assortment.

“Wow, you have your own TV in here?” Bard asked and Thranduil gave a dull nod.

“Yep, sure do.”

“Is that a video game system?”

“Mmhm.”

“I’ve never actually seen one until now.”

“Really?” Thranduil asked uncaringly. “You can play my video games if you want. I have tons.”

“Well, I don’t know how to.”

“You can figure it out, can’t you?”

Thranduil stomped over to grab the remote, turning on the TV mounted on the wall. He pressed the button on the system to get it going and then opened a cabinet about his height, revealing its contents. It was full of age appropriate videogames, most of which Thranduil hadn’t even opened.

“Um…I was hoping we could play _together_.”

Thranduil spun around, ready to tell him off, but his mouth snapped shut upon looking at Bard. Man, he was cute. His puppy-like eyes were a fascinating mixture of brown, gold and green that Thranduil hadn’t known was possible to have until meeting him. He looked so innocent standing there and _smiled_ so sweetly that it gave Thranduil a sick feeling in his stomach, but it wasn’t a feeling derived from disgust or illness. He didn’t know what on earth that weird feeling was.

Thranduil sighed, turning and grabbing two controllers. He extended one to Bard timidly.

“Here. You can pick the game.”

 

Bard ended up spending a lot of time sifting through Thranduil’s games, constantly asking if the one he was pointing to was fun or not and what it was about. Thranduil was growing irritated with his slow picking and indecisiveness, so he chose for them. He picked Super Mario Bros, which Bard had apparently never heard of. Geeze, did this kid live on a farm or under a rock?

Needless to say, Bard wasn’t very good at playing video games. Thranduil forced himself to _patiently_ explain what each control did and tried to help him through, since they were playing as a team. After half an hour, they hadn’t gotten very far in the game…at all. Bard was having a lot of trouble staying alive and couldn’t get past a certain part. He kept telling Thranduil he could do it, and the look on his face just showed how determined he really was to get to the next part of the game. Thranduil waited and waited, seeing how hard Bard was trying and how happy he was to do so, but after a while he suggested they try again later and do something else to take a break.

“We can play with some of my toys or something.” Thranduil proposed as he stood and started eyeing his many possessions around the play room, but he was distracted by Bard heaving his backpack over and then plopping on the floor with it. “What’s all that?” Thranduil asked, raising a curious brow. The backpack looked like it was barely shut with its contents bulging through the material and it looked heavy, too. He watched as Bard struggled to unzip the bag and a pile of books spilled out.

“I brought some of my books to show you!” he cheered and arranged them all into a neat tower. “I don’t know if you like to read, but I love to read. I’m not an expert reader yet; I’m still learning, but I can read a lot of things. These aren’t even all of my books. I have a lot more books at home. Most of my books are about fairytales. I tried to bring my favorite ones to show you, but it was hard to choose what ones to bring. I wonder which one I should show you first – I’ll let you pick! Do you like to read?”

Bard beamed up at him and Thranduil was frozen, astonished by how fast the curly haired boy had suddenly started talking. He probably hadn’t heard Bard talk that much the whole time he’d been there.

“Uhm,” Thranduil uttered dumbly and glanced at the books and took a lock of hair in his hand, twisting it and playing with it. He scuffed over to the pile and abandoned his hair, plucking a thumb into his mouth, and hurriedly pointing to the first book he saw. “Is that one any good?”

“Mmhm, it sure is! It’s about a little man who goes on an adventure with a bunch of dwarves who try to take back their home from a dragon who stole it.”

“Dwarves?” Thranduil sneered, biting in the end of his thumb. From what he knew of fairytales, dwarves were boring and ugly things with too much hair. It didn’t sound like a story worth hearing.

“They’re really awesome dwarves, and there are wizards and humans and elves too! And the little man is something called a hobbit; they’re just small people, smaller than dwarves with really big feet.”

“Wizards and elves, huh?” Thranduil questioned, slipping his thumb from his mouth and then twiddling his hair between his fingers. He shifted his weight with his hand on his hip as he figured a story with cool creatures like wizards and elves in it couldn’t be that bad. “…Okay. You can read it to me.”

“Okay, I’ll read it to you, but you have to sit next to me so you can see the pretty pictures!”

“Okay.”

And so the youngest Greenleaf sat beside the farm boy from down the road and stared at the words printed on the pages as Bard read on and on. He held the book wide open so they both could see and was sure to pause before turning the page so Thranduil could get a good look at the detailed drawings of the fantasy characters. Bard read the foreign looking words beautifully and enthusiastically; occasionally, he’d stumble and stutter, but he would remain very calm and start over like he hadn’t even messed up in the first place. It was amazing that his temper seemed… _nonexistent_.

As Thranduil sat listening with his legs crossed, he sucked on his thumb as he remembered all the times he’d tried reading and hated it because of how hard it was. He was still taking lessons to prepare for kindergarten, but he only knew a few words; it was difficult to absorb knowledge when you were busy throwing a hissy fit. Oropher and Miluiel always commended Thranduil for how smart he was because he really was a bright boy with potential and learned things very quickly when he buckled down and focused, but that was rarely the case. He was more often being scolded because he was too bratty to utilize his brain. Now, Thranduil was wishing he’d been patient in his reading lessons so he could read aloud just like Bard did. The thought made him nervous and jealous, but it also made him like the other boy all the more. Soon enough, the thumb between his teeth was abandoned as he forgot his worry and became enveloped in the story being told.

“Finally, the hobbit had returned to his little hole in the hill to live a life of peace with t….with treasures aplenty, but he valued none more than the m-memories of his journey.” Bard smiled to himself and gave a sigh as he closed the book and looked at Thranduil expectantly. “Did you like that story?”

“That’s it? That’s how it ends?” Thranduil questioned, flipping open the book and checking to see that there weren’t any pages Bard missed. The brown haired boy giggled.

“Yep, that’s it. I know so because I’ve read it a bunch of times.”

“That’s not a very happy ending!” Thranduil pouted, crossing his arms and Bard blinked at him. He nodded with understanding and traced his fingers over the green cover of the book gently.

“In a way, it is. You have to look at the good stuff.”

“What good stuff? A bunch of people died.”

“Yeah, but they slayed the dragon and won the war! The dwarves got their home back and the hobbit lived too. He had the time of his life, even though it was really scary sometimes. He made lots of friends, loyal friends, and even though he lost some of them, that’s what happens in fairytales sometimes. The dwarf prince fought and was really brave all for his family and friends and his home, because those things are still important even if he’s not alive.”

“Hmm…I didn’t think of it like that.” Thranduil said as he scratched his head thoughtfully. “That sounds like poetry or something.”

“Don’t you think he was brave?”

“The dwarf prince? He was alright for a _dwarf_ I guess, but I think the hobbit and the Dragonslayer guy were the bravest and the elf king was _definitely_ the coolest.”

“I like the elf king too. He seems kinda mean at first, but I get why he’s like that.”

“You talk about these characters like you know them.” Thranduil said and caught a blush lighting up Bard’s face.

“W-Well, I feel like I do!”

“Well, why then?”

“Why what?”

“Why is he mean? You said you get why.”

“Oh – well, it’s because he’s scared.”

“ _Scared?_ He didn’t seem like he was afraid of _anything_! He was cool and didn’t take crap from anybody!”

“Because he’s a king. He _can’t_ take crap from anybody if he wants to keep his people safe. He’s protective because he’s been in wars and he’s lost a lot of people he loved.”

“Oh…that’s sad.”

“It is. And by the way, I’m pretty sure ‘crap’ is a bad word.”

“So?”

“So, you shouldn’t say bad words.”

“Mm…whatever.” Thranduil shrugged. His parents had told him the same thing, that “crap” was a bad word for adults to use only, but he never heeded anything they said. However, he wouldn’t say crap if Bard didn’t want him to…not while he was around, anyway.

“What do you want to do now?” Bard asked, his legs extended and his toes tapping together.

“What was the story called again?”

“There and Back Again.”

“I want to play There and Back Again! We can go outside and do it, so it’s like the real thing! I’ll be the elf king and you can be…you can be the Dragonslayer, because I like him! I mean…if you wanna be the Dragonslayer.”

“Sure!” Bard piped up, a bright smile illuminating his face and Thranduil mirrored it uncontrollably. Maybe this kid wasn’t too weird after all – not in a bad way, that is. He was good weird.

 

Thranduil ran to find some of the helpers around the house with Bard in hand and asked with his cutest face if they could rustle up some costumes and weapons for them to play with. The two children waited in the kitchen as they munched on fruit and crackers with juice to wash it all down until those who had gone to retrieve what Thranduil requested returned with a brown coat, a small braided belt, and a hurriedly made wooden bow with a few arrows for Bard (since Thranduil would accept nothing less – it had to be just like the story!). For Thranduil, a silver crown, matching cape, and a plastic sword found deep in one of his toy bins. It would do for now, but perhaps he could convince his parents into having more elegant costumes made for them for another time.

The coat was a bit big on Bard, but luckily the belt helped keep it on and away from his anklets. Thranduil donned his cape and crown proudly, feeling very sophisticated and powerful. All that was needed was a dragon and some orcs (as they were called in the book). He roped some of the helpers into acting out the parts for them and they ran around the front yard, making as many animated noises as they could as they were chased around. Bard was much more cautious with his weaponry, mostly because he had no idea how to even use a bow, but Thranduil was less so and wasn’t afraid to smack the helpers with his plastic sword, even when they were down and “dead” on the ground.

Once the orcs had been slain with the help of the Dragonslayer, it was time for the elf king to celebrate victory. The dragon and the orcs were very pleased to have been released from their characters and went off to attend to their duties while Thranduil threw his arms around Bard in a hug.

“You slayed the dragon! You’re an awesome ally and now your people will have you be their king!” he declared, taking his crown from his head and settling it carefully on Bard’s. A crown was very fitting for such an attractive little boy and Thranduil felt his face grow warm. He bit down on his thumb and sucked on it, his gaze averting from the good looking boy and to the ground.

“How come you keep doing that with your thumb? Are you hurt?” Bard asked, gently popping Thranduil’s finger from his mouth and examining the digit closely.

“Uh, yeah." Thranduil lied, grabbing a piece of his hair to calm his nerves. He wouldn’t admit it to Bard because it would make him seem like a baby, but thumb sucking and hair touching was an awful habit of his. His parents threatened to give him a haircut if he kept on with playing with his hair, so he tended to keep it held up in a ponytail whenever they were around; he didn’t want a haircut, no, no. They couldn’t cut off his thumb, though, so Thranduil fed the habit every time he felt anxious. He just couldn’t help it and Bard made him _very_ anxious.

“Well, it looks okay. I’m sorry it hurts.” Bard said with a shrug and then gave Thranduil’s thumb the tiniest, sweetest, most wonderful kiss that made Thranduil want to shriek from embarrassment and delight, but he found his voice ran away from him and he couldn’t say _anything_.

Thranduil’s hand dropped to his side limply as Bard smiled at him and both of their attentions were drawn to the gates as they opened and Bard’s “ma” drove up the driveway.

“You have to go now?” Thranduil asked, resisting the urge to bite his freshly kissed thumb.

“Yeah, I gotta go eat dinner. I have to get my backpack – can you show me back to the playroom?”

 

Bard’s mother was chatting with one of the helpers when the boys next emerged outside and he ran to her, Thranduil following instinctively. He stopped a few paces behind Bard, letting him hug his mother as they were reunited.

“Ma, I missed you!” he chimed and Thranduil’s heart sank a little. Would he miss him too?

“I missed you too, honey. Did you two have fun?” Runa spoke and now her eyes were set on Thranduil. He nodded quickly.

“Mmhm. Thanks for letting Bard come over.” He said shyly and she smiled at him.

“Yeah, it was really fun, ma. We played video games and read a book together and had snacks and played outside!” Bard said, jumping up and down as he did so.

“That _does_ sound really fun. I bet you’re hungry.”

“Yes, very much!”

“Say your goodbyes so we can go eat.”

Bard turned to Thranduil and grinned at him widely, sending Thranduil’s already pounding heart into hyper speed. He gave a small wave and Thranduil pulled him in for an abrupt hug. The embrace was delayed on Bard’s side from how surprised he was, but he hugged back with a laugh. Thranduil’s cheek brushed against his curls and wow, were they soft!

“I had fun playing with you.” Thranduil confessed as they parted.

“I had fun playing with you too. Wanna hang out again soon?”

“Yeah.” Thranduil choked out, nodding eagerly.

Bard waved to him as he climbed up into his seat and waved to him after the door was closed and he was driving off down the driveway and down the road. Thranduil stood there waving back for as long as the Jeep was in his sight. The gates closed and he still stood there, staring at his christened thumb. He was dumbfounded, amazed, shocked, but most of all he was in love. His father had always told him when he asked what love was that it was “indescribable” and that he would know if he was in love when it happened. Well, this was indescribable for sure. His heart felt like it would jump right out of his chest and run after Bard all the way to his house! He was never going to suck his thumb _again_.

 

The next time Bard would visit the Greenleaf home would be two days later. Thranduil wanted him to come sooner, but he supposedly had family over visiting. So the blonde waited, his heart wild with new emotions that flowed through his veins. What a time to be alive! This move wouldn’t be so treacherous after all.

He loved his mother and father, but loving someone like he did Bard was different. This had to be the kind of love that made people want to marry each other, just like the love his parents and Bard’s parents had. It was odd; did people normally fall in love so young? He didn’t think so, because he had never met any married couple that was as young as he was, and he’d met plenty of married couples by going to his father’s business dinners.

Lying in bed thinking about it, the explanation of how he was in love so young came to him: he was just special.

While waiting for two days to pass, he was on his very best behavior, despite how painful it was. He gave his parents credit for how tricky they were; they’d heard from the helpers how good Thranduil had been while Bard was there and the used it against him. Yes, it was clever: if he was bad, Bard couldn’t come over to play and Thranduil couldn’t go to his house to play either. It was as simple as that.

Dang them both. Dang them to heck.

Thranduil had no choice, but to be good against his own will if he ever wished to see the love of his life again. That, or he could be as bad as he wanted and wait thirteen more years until he was eighteen and he could do whatever he wanted…he didn’t want to wait that long. Two days was hard enough.

Thranduil found himself holding his tongue and suppressing his temper often, but it all paid off in the end when he saw Bard smiling at him as he approached the front steps. Thranduil was overwhelmed by elation and sped right down the steps, grabbed Bard’s hand and whirled him around in almost a full circle. Bard wobbled and fell right on his bum, bringing Thranduil down with him. The two looked at each other in confusion for a moment, stunned by how quickly they’d found themselves on the ground, but then they laughed and helped each other up.

“Are you okay?” Bard asked as Thranduil wiped grass from his shorts.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Did you bring your book again today? The one from last time?” Thranduil questioned, eyeing the backpack strapped over his shoulders.

“I did. I brought other ones too.”

“Come on, let’s go! I’ve got to show you something!”

Thranduil darted toward his back yard and Bard followed swiftly after, leaving Runa and Miluiel, who’d witnessed the entire scene and had been ignored throughout it, speechless. Once the two mothers met eyes, they burst into laughter.

“I’ve never seen Thranduil so happy!” Miluiel exclaimed as she descended the steps and neared her fellow neighbor.

“I’m just glad Bard isn’t groaning about having neighbors anymore. Thank god you have a son who he happens to adore.” Runa replied.

“It seems they’ve taken quite the liking to each other; Thranduil couldn’t stop talking about Bard ever since he left last time. He’s even been behaving well!”

“Does he not usually?”

“Honestly, no. He’s always had a monstrous attitude.”

“Really?”

“Yes. We’ve never been able to fathom why; he was just born a ‘diva’, as Oropher and I sometimes say. He certainly acts like one. Whether we’re easy going or strict, he misbehaves, but I think Bard is having a good influence on him already. Why don’t you come in for a cold drink? I don’t have to go in to work today and I’d love it for you to stay.”

“Sure, I suppose I can spare the time.”

 

While the mothers conversed within the cool confines of the Greenleaf home, the boys were in the backyard where Thranduil had a surprise to show his newest, dearest friend and love. He led Bard beyond the outdoor swimming pool and the gardens and to a tree, sizable in height, which housed a flawless looking wooden structure. It had been there on move-in day, already set up for Thranduil’s use, but he hadn’t taken interest in it until he realized it would be the perfect hang out place for he and Bard. He had checked it all out for himself earlier that day, spruced it up to his liking and now he was excited to finally show Bard. He showed off the treehouse with a dramatic wave of his arm.

“Ta-dah! This can be where we set up our plans for war when we play There and Back Again, because the elf king and the Dragonslayer would totally team up since the Dragonslayer is practically the king of the men. This will be our fortress.”

“I like that idea!”

Eheheh, Thranduil was a _romantic_ _genius_.

They scaled the ladder and clambered up into the treehouse which was furnished with bean bag chairs, pillows, a small table with chairs, and flower petals scattered on the carpeted floor. Bard walked through, admiring the magnificent treehouse before he placed his backpack on the table and started stacking his books. While his back was turned, Thranduil scooped up a few petals and dangled them between his fingers over himself.

“What book do you wanna read today?” Bard asked and as he turned, the blonde boy sprinkled the petals on his face.

“We should read the same one.” Thranduil said and flashed a cheesy grin to (pretty much, in his mind) boyfriend. He gave a flip of his hair and noticed Bard was giving him a funny look…maybe he wasn’t impressed by his _moves_.

“Sure, we can read that again if you want. Do you wanna read it this time?”

“No!” Thranduil said quickly, earning a wide eyed look from Bard. He scratched his thumb, fighting off his routine practice to suck on it nervously. “I like the way your voice sounds when you read it.”

“Alright.” Bard shrugged easily, picked up the green book and searched for a place to sit. Thranduil was already one step ahead, dragging over to beanbag chairs and gesturing for Bard to sit first.

They sank into the squishy chairs and Thranduil ogled at Bard as he read; it was even lovelier to listen to the second time through. Once the story telling was finished, Thranduil sprung from his seat and stalked over to the table where blank papers and a box of crayons rested, along with Bard’s bag and his other books. He looked at them skeptically and shook his head; surely, no other tale could be as fascinating as There and Back Again. He opened up the crayon box and nodded Bard over to the table.

“Come, we must discuss plans to defeat the army of ugly orcs, Dragonslayer. Maybe a map of the land to start.”

Bard jogged over and set his hands on his hips as he looked at the empty papers.

 “Yeah! For the map, the land can be green, the hills can be brown, and the water can be blue.” Bard was so smart and creative.

 

Thranduil had taken out all of the colors Bard recommended, including different shades of each of those colors because of course he had the sixty four pack of crayons which carried a lot of variety, and what was a picture if it didn’t look as beautiful as real life which was teeming with many colors?

They each started at a different point with a dark green crayon and squiggled until their hands met and a blob of land had been completed. They discussed what land barriers would go where and placed armies strategically in the shape of “x”s. All of the armies were different colors: the elves were purple, the men were yellow, the dwarves were grey and the orcs and wargs were red. Next to the elf and human armies were stick figures of Thranduil and Bard, since they were the noble leaders. The impending attack looked perfect on paper.

“Next time we have the battle, we’ll have _real_ costumes. I asked my parents and they said they’d get us some so we look like the real thing!” Thranduil said.

“Wow, that’s really nice of them. Maybe we can do the battle at my house; I have tons of space and all your helpers can come too.” Bard proposed and Thranduil nodded thoughtfully in agreement.

“Good idea! It would be in the best interest of our kingdoms for me to visit yours anyway. And, um…um…” He stroked his hair tight in his fist and swayed his hips a little as he tried to speak.

“Yeah?” Bard coaxed, a smile on his face. _Ugh_ , he was adorable.

“…and I have something special to show you to strengthen our bond! You know, as allies. It’s in my house.”

“Okay, but I have to use the bathroom first.”

 

After Bard was done in the bathroom, Thranduil led him through the house, climbing grand staircases and zigzagging through lengthy corridors until they finally reached their destination. The little blonde paused before the doors and took in a sharp breath before opening them and gesturing for Bard to enter first. The boy walked in easily, but Thranduil hesitated. This was a big moment, a moment he’d been debating back and forth for two whole days and now there was no taking back his decision, since Bard was now standing in _that room._ His heart was beating faster than it ever had, faster than it had after he had nightmares, even! Did he dare look inside and see Bard’s impression?

“Thranduil?” a small voice called out to him. His face was burning hot – he _had_ to go in.

He slowly inched himself into the room he knew so well; normally this room brought him much comfort, but now that he was sharing it with someone else other than his parents, it was like his entire self was exposed. He dragged his eyes from the floor to the young boy standing in the middle of it. He looked _happy_.

“These are all your plants?” he asked and Thranduil’s gaze shifted proudly to the greenery blossoming around them. He smiled coyly, his pink cheeks lifting.

“Yeah, they are. My parents take care of them with me, but I mostly do it all myself.”

“That’s amazing! There are so many!” Bard exclaimed, much to Thranduil’s pleasure. He started wandering around the sun filled greenhouse room, eyeing the sprinklers installed on the ceiling and the different plants. Some had long, thin leaf blades and others had short, fat leaves. Some had flowers, but not all. Thranduil followed him, his chest filling with glee as Bard observed his life’s greatest work. The brunette sped up, going after something in particular and it what it was was Thranduil’s absolute favorite.

“This is the one you had when I saw you the day you moved here.” Bard pointed out, observing the odd looking stub with thorns protruding from the pot it sat in. Others plants that looked similar surrounded it, all of them dangerous looking.

“These are my favorite plants in the whole world.” Thranduil said, picking up the object of fascination and hugging it fondly.

“What is it?” Bard asked blankly and Thranduil’s jaw dropped as he realized the boy had no clue what the precious thing he held was!

“ _What is it?_ It’s a cactus!”

“Cactus?”

“Cactus.”

"Cactus...hee hee, thats kind of a funny word to say! Cactus! I’ve never seen one before until I saw this one.”

“Never ever?”

“Nope…it doesn’t look very friendly.” Bard stepped back, a little wary of the threatening looking plant and Thranduil shook his head insistently.

“There’s nothing wrong with them and they’re perfectly friendly, if you treat them nicely. Just don’t touch the pointy parts. Wanna hold it?”

“Um…alright, I’ll hold it.”

“Be careful.” Thranduil warned as he handed over the pot and Bard took it very gingerly, smiling at the plant. Suddenly, the farm boy looked more radiant than ever.

“It’s not so bad.”

“They’re…they’re really special to me and you’re special to me, so I wanted to show you.”

“Thanks. I’m glad you shared something special with me.”

If Bard kept smiling at him like the way he was, he might just kill Thranduil with how sweet he was. Thranduil was swooning like mad.

“You’re welcome, and I think we should get married!” Thranduil blurted and Bard’s eyes widened. Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. “I mean – I think for us to be really good allies in war for There and Back Again, we should do something big t-to bring our kingdoms together like g-getting married!” Thranduil finished quickly and Bard’s expression softened, much to the blonde's relief.

“Oh! Well, that makes sense. Sure!”

_Holy crap._

**Author's Note:**

> I think as this goes on, they'll keep going up in age so we can see them at different stages in life and see how they change and grow - what do you think? Thanks for reading! ^-^


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